Honey Don't Hurt Me, Please

Despite the appearance of our rough exteriors, men are actually quite vulnerable.  Our insides are mush.  Don't hurt us.  Perhaps I can express it better in verse.



Honey Don't Hurt Me, Please

Most days I look like Samson,
Or work like Hercules,
But I'm weak as a kitten,
So honey, don't hurt me, please!

I've got a weaker libido
Than I did when I was tone,
But now you have the power
And I, no testosterone.

I carried you over the threshold
Back when my back was taught,
But I'm carrying more of your weight now
Than I really think I ought.

My mind was once computer
And I was Socrates
But now if I forget your name
Honey, don't hurt me, please.

And yes I can remember
When I could jump and dunk
But if I tried to do it now
My butt would go kerplunk.

And yes, I wanted children
And I love them heartily,
But now I dream them leaving
So I can care for me.

The years are not so kind
To men and chimpanzees,
Just toss me beer and peanuts,
And honey don't hurt me, please.