Rugby Dad

The older male was never meant to be a Rugby player.  In fact, it is highly unlikely the older male has even heard of Rugby until more recent years, and has probably never seen it played.  It is, after all, a sport that arrived on this country's shores from elsewhere, very likely originating in some god-forsaken land where the women walk around topless and roast field rodents over an open fire.

But Rugby in America consists of a very large ball, fifteen boys bouncing off of each other like a grassy pin-ball machine, and a group of old men standing on the sidelines asking, "What the hell just happened out there?"

Rugby is mysterious.  And unique.

For example, can you name another full-contact sport where there is only one referee on the field?  Or can you think of another sport that has a larger ball?  And if you can make heads-or-tails out of such elusive terms as "try", "scrum", and "pitch" . . . have at it.

To advance the ball downfield in Rugby, a player must either run with or kick the ball forward or throw it backwards.  When a player is tackled with the ball, play does not stop, the whistle does not blow, but the game continues as teams form a "scrum" around the ball, dig it out, and then tackle each other some more. All of this is undertaken without an ounce of padding or protective gear.  The game rarely stops for injuries (which are numerous) and blood is seen as a medal of honor.  However, as a gentleman's game, foul play is not permitted, and after the game (in most countries) the teams meet each other afterwards for beers and to lick wounds as they laugh about the game. 

Rugby was, of course, invented by a drunk. 

When men become too old to play American football (or they finally realize that they never could play), men turn to Rugby as a substitute.  They enjoy watching their sons bleed.  And after the game, fathers on both sides scour the field in search of detached ears and fingers.  These are matched with their respective players (like a jigsaw puzzle) and sewn on immediately with ten-pound mono filament fishing line.

Rugby, of course, is not a game for wimps.  It is a game for young men who still have the potential to father children, even if they lose a testicle.  It is a game for those who have a high-tolerance pain-level and who do not mind facial disfigurement or amputation.  An extra quart of blood doesn't hurt either.  

Rugby dads are those who stand along the sidelines and flinch when the ball is kicked in their direction.  They associate the ball with being kicked.  And they can recall who did the kicking.

In most cases, it was their wives.  And they don't want to relive the nightmare.  Rugby dads treasure the family jewels.