Man's Best Friend

Some people will tell you that a man's best friend is his dog.  But this sentiment could be disparaging to a man's wife, especially if she looks like a poodle.

As a man ages, he discovers that he has many friends.  Most of them are dead, which is not all-together a bad thing, as it saves him a lot of money on greens-fees and beers.  And of the friends who are still living, many have difficulty remembering his name.  His friends remind him that he is lucky to be alive and that, within the course of human events, things could have turned out worse.

The manopausal male's best friend is, of course, his wife.  He has learned this through trial and error--perhaps talking to a dog here and there, or adopting a stray chipmunk, or through his feeble attempts to talk to a red rubber ball during his psychological counseling sessions with Dr. Mengele, Jr.  Mostly, he enjoys his wife's company, especially when she is absent.  Sometimes he dreams about her.  And some of these dreams are erotic and usually involve kitchen utensils of various sizes and shapes.

The older male appreciates his wife for many reasons--not the least of which is her willingness to live with him--and as he enters manopause he counts his blessings and hugs her a lot more.

Naturally, the older woman returns these sentiments--which are usually redeemed in the form of coupons or meatloaf.  Women, of course, are here in the height of their sexuality and attractiveness even as their husbands are wilting inside their skins and can longer make a decent martini.  This dichotomy can be frustrating, especially if the man is awake, and some older women may  be tempted to go on the prowl for a younger man.  These women are often called "cougars" . . . meaning that they never trim their toenails and are also willing to pick up a dinner tab at Applebees. 

The manopausal male, however, can still keep his wife satisfied if he pays for spa treatments or is able to express his innermost emotions (how he feels about the Green Bay Packers, for example, or his frustrations with collective bargaining). An older woman will usually latch onto these emotions and fix dinner, and some women will put out once in a while if the man uses the word "love" in a proper grammatical context. 

The older male, of course, cherishes his wife's friendship.  Chances are, the wiener dog is already buried in the back yard and his wife is now his best option.  He loves her, too.  And sometimes he reminds her that she is his best friend.